the project burden is off my shoulder. i'm so happy. but i still got report to write. *sigh*

i can't help but feel so happy today. i was smiling to myself in the bus all the way home. i feel like an idiot. but nvm,at least i'm happy.but i think i'm crazy, only because i get a balloon sculpture from felix and i can smile all the way home.

sometimes, i rather just die than to live. i feel that the world is too curel.

the human nature is too ugly. i rather not know anything, and be a kid forever. i don't wanna grow up. too much ever ending problems. i feel that i'm dying inside.

i feel so stupid. i feel like slaping my mouth. i'm not sure exactly did i said to harvey, but i think i spilled the truth about my mom doing the dress, when he ask me to talk with him alone. he was very dissapointed. my heart just felt like it's sinking into the deep sea.

but i was gald today that joen actually stood on my side. it's good to know that she has a nice side.
i'm so glad that i have friends to lend me a shoulder and also ears. i feel so much better, especially after going shopping with xiao hui and marie.

i sure hope that i will not get to work with them ever in my life again.

i can't believe that i met these kind of person
I'm really fed up working in their group.
change this change that. in the end, is still me and my mom who did the whole dress for the mannequins. and i don't even have a say in the dress?
.
why can't they at LEAST just tell me the changes when I've not started on the dress parts? it's always after i did all the things then they come telling me they want to change this change that, don't want this, don't want that.
.
they wanted another layer of tulle(netting) to the skirt part, and my mom have to tear down the whole skirt just to add another layer.
it's similar to tearing down the whole laptop into pieces and fixing them all back together.
.
do they even know how hard it is to make a dress. moreover, it's full with roses. do they even know how hard it is to make those roses? i pricked my finger, sacrifice my sleep, skipped my meals just to do the roses. and they can just simply tell me that they don't want the mana blue coloured roses i've made.
.
they claimed that they don't know how to do the rose, so i taught them. and? one gave up just after threading the needle. one did one rose and claim that she doesn't know how to do the roses the next day. in the end, i still have to do all the roses.
.
do they even appriciate me and my mom working so hard to do the dress?
.
and they thank me by not washing up after doing the showcase and end up getting harvey to minus makrs?
.
so what if they did the whole showcase? it's just like hanging a few pictures of the dresses in the display box. our display for showcase is so simple. i really can't believe they spent $30 over just to print that few pieces of paper. as if that i'm rich.
.
and wow, they still have the gut to tell me they are not free because they're going out.
.

i can't wait for this block to be over. i hate this module, i hate my group.
and my mom just have to make me feel worst.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5hjR5_tbfg

this song is so sad...

she wrote this for her late grandpa.

the 1st few time i heard this song, tears welled up in my eyes. (I'm not exaggerating)

at the same time, i envy her.

because she can become a star since young. and me? i think i'll just dream on.

hahaha.
i'm so unlucky to have met him. but fortunately for me, there's still friend who showed me the truth.

look's who's fox tail leaked out.

i wish she knows so she'll be not nice to you. i pity her. cause i think you're touturing her.

you're being a jerk you know that?

i'll hate u from now on. can you just die? i hate hypocrites.

First:

Best friend: forgot.
Pet: a gold fish named 肥肥
Piercing: Ear
Crush: forgot
CD: none
Car: none
Stuffed animal: forgot
Love: none
Place called home: HOME

Last:

Beverage: soup
Car ride: Dad's
Movie seen: tarzan
Phone call: mom
Song you listened to: i forgot
bath: just now
Time you cried: i forgot
Thing you ate: erm.. chicken drumlets
Bad thing you did: bitching abt people

Have you ever:
Dated one of your best friends: No
Been arrested: no?
Skinny dipped: No
Been on a limo: No
Cheated: million times
Been in love: no
Been in a car accident: no
Broke a bone: No


Things you've done today: project (damn you projects)
Favourite things: errr.....food?
People you tell almost everything to: none

Choices:
Live or die: die
Sweets or chocolates: Chocs
Swim or run: Swim
Things you want to do before you die: go japan and shop, and also to get a boyfriend
Do you have true friends? Yes
Things you regret: alot...

i guess my life is ment to be full of bad lucks.
*sigh*

i just realised my favourite water bottle got dented and my mom just have to say something to make me feel worst. i just said my water bottle got dented and she was like " TOLD YOU, DON'T USE ALREADY LA!" . i was like >.> and when i don't use, she'll say i waste money$.

i mean its not my fault that my water bottle got dented. i've been very careful already, i even put a protective covering ok. and anyway, i used my own money to buy that bottle, it's not like she sponsored me the bottle.

and i'm already feeling very upset, can she not futher upset me?!!

feeling lousy.

i'm seriously getting fed up. i'm tired of group works. i want to work alone, do at my own timing, do my own slides, my own ideas. I think they mixed merchandising plan with store layout. i tried to tell them, but i think they just don't believe me. and we are always pulled back because they are always not free. and now? they asked me to do the "store layout" for all the stores. i'm done, but pass to who? they are not even online.

i don't know why i feel like having a boyfriend badly especially when i saw couples together. i feel like a despo. and i feel lousy feeling like a despo. but i can't help but wanting a boyfriend. when grace says how competitble me and felix is, i can't help but feel happy.(thats how badly i want a boyfriend). argh. i feel so despo >.>
why am i such a despo?


i seriously hate to work in my group. i don't hate them. not that i don't like them either. it's just that i don't like to work with them. i wish this block will be over soon. i prefer block 1, infact i like block 1 alot, although it's homework everyday but it's more direct and you can work alone.

life is so fragile. one day you know you're alive, the next day you wouldn't know you'll still be alive.

my brother's friend just died in an car accident. from what i've heard, the driver listens to the handphone when driving.
this is so sad, he isn't supposed to die. it's all because of a call...
he is his parents only child. imagine how sad it would be for them. even thou he is adopted.

but the ionic thing is that, i don't treasure my life.

issit grace?


me?


xiao hui?


or rachel? XD


and we all fought for the crown with....................fries?._.

i read my 1st few post of the blog today. it was such long time ago, that i 1st started my blog. so much have changed. i felt so silly, and dumb and.. wadever.

i thought i will die without them as my friends. how stupid i was. i could have been better without them. who needs them anyway. who are they to control me on what to buy, what to wear, what to do.

but i'm glad that at least i still have friends when i was in secondary 4. at least before i leave, i have a friend, i have friends who told me the reality, wake me up from my fantasy, comfort me. i really miss them. i'm so glad that i've woken up. i realised teachers are fake, classmates are fake, so is the principal.
it's ok to make mistakes, it's ok to be alone, and in life you do not need to suceed with pieces and pieces of certificates, and of cuz her famous phrase "life is full of shit".
so what if i fail in tests? one piece of test paper marks doesn't mean anything, just work hard for the next one. it's stupid to cry for a paper, u can't change anything anyway.

now in TP, i have a brand new life. i wished i was there together with hazel. she taught me so much things in life, but she has her own path to go. i really wanted to thank her, for teaching me so much, things that i will not get to learn in school.

i'm so worried. i scared that i can't finish my assignment 2 for harvey's class. my group members are all busy. i really hope we can finish it.

block 2 is SO stress and boring. my lecturer keep making us take notes, the whole lesson is basically taking notes. and the assignments are so confusing. i don't really understand what the hell am i supposed to do exactly.
this sux.